Libido: What Your Sex Drive Can Tell You About Your Health

5 min read

So, how's your libido?

Menstruating folks, do you notice a shift in your sex drive as you approach ovulation? Fellas, do you wake up with an erection? Has your desire for sex changed over the past few years, or perhaps since becoming a parent, entering peri/menopause, or going through a particularly stressful period?

Our libido can offer some interesting clues about our health. It isn't a diagnostic tool, and there's no single 'normal' level of sexual desire. But changes in libido, particularly when considered alongside other symptoms, can be a useful starting point for understanding what's happening in the body.

The Kidney connection: what does libido mean in Chinese medicine?

In Chinese medicine, the Kidneys are considered the foundation of our constitutional vitality. They are associated with growth, development, reproduction, ageing and our capacity to sustain life.

Kidney Yang is the warming, activating aspect of this system. It provides the drive and warmth needed for physiological activity, including sexual desire and reproductive function. Kidney Yin, on the other hand, represents the nourishing, cooling and replenishing aspect.

We need both.

When Kidney Yang is deficient, we may see reduced sexual desire alongside symptoms such as fatigue, feeling cold, low motivation, lower back weakness or a general lack of vitality.

When Kidney Yin is deficient, there may be symptoms such as night sweats, dryness, feeling warm at night, disturbed sleep or changes in sexual comfort and arousal.

These are traditional Chinese medicine patterns, not direct equivalents of hormone levels or medical diagnoses. We look at the whole picture rather than interpreting libido in isolation.

And importantly, the Kidneys aren't the only system involved.

It's not just about the Kidneys

The Liver: stress, tension and desire

In Chinese medicine, the Liver is responsible for the smooth flow of Qi throughout the body. When we're under prolonged stress, emotionally constrained or constantly running on adrenaline, this flow can become disrupted.

You might notice that your libido disappears when life gets overwhelming. You may feel tense, irritable, frustrated or unable to switch off.

In these cases, treatment may focus on regulating the Liver Qi and supporting the body's ability to move out of a stress response.

The Heart: connection and emotional wellbeing

Desire is about more than physical function. Emotional connection, feeling safe, mood and the quality of our relationships can all influence our experience of intimacy.

Chinese medicine considers the Heart closely connected to our emotional and mental wellbeing. When someone is exhausted, anxious, emotionally depleted or struggling to sleep, their interest in sex may change.

Sometimes the most useful question isn't, "How do we increase your libido?" but, "What is making it difficult for you to feel relaxed, connected and available for intimacy?"

Qi and Blood: energy and nourishment

When we're depleted, our bodies have less capacity for everything beyond the essentials. In Chinese medicine, deficiencies of Qi and Blood may contribute to fatigue, poor recovery, dizziness, palpitations, menstrual changes and reduced sexual interest.

This can be particularly relevant during periods of prolonged stress, after pregnancy, during breastfeeding, or around perimenopause and menopause.

Menstruating Folks: what happens to libido throughout the menstrual cycle?

Have you noticed that you feel more interested in sex at certain times of the month?

Some people experience an increase in desire around ovulation, when oestrogen is high and conception is more likely. Others notice increased desire before menstruation, around the time of their period, or no obvious cyclical pattern at all.

Research supports this individual variation. A 2023 study tracking women across two menstrual cycles found a small average increase in sexual desire around mid-cycle, but substantial differences between individuals. A 2025 study of 585 women similarly found that increased desire and lubrication were somewhat more common around ovulation, although the timing varied considerably between women.

This means your own pattern is more useful than comparing yourself with a supposed hormonal ideal.

From a Chinese medicine perspective, we consider how Qi, Blood, Yin and Yang change throughout the menstrual cycle. We also look at the quality of your period, energy levels, mood, sleep, pain and any premenstrual symptoms.

If your libido disappears in the lead-up to menstruation, for example, we might explore whether this coincides with irritability, breast tenderness, bloating, fatigue or low mood. The combination of symptoms helps us determine which patterns may be relevant.

If you're in perimenopause, the picture can become more complex. Changes in hormones, vaginal dryness, disrupted sleep, stress and changes to the body or relationships may all contribute to changes in desire.

Acupuncture and Chinese medicine may form part of a broader approach to supporting wellbeing and sexual function.

Men: morning erections and the question of ejaculation

Do you wake up with an erection?

Morning erections are associated with sleep-related erectile activity, including REM sleep, and are influenced by factors such as hormones and sleep quality. Their frequency and firmness can change with age.

Occasionally waking without an erection is completely normal. However, a persistent change, particularly alongside reduced desire or difficulty maintaining an erection, is worth discussing with a healthcare professional. Sleep disorders, stress, medication effects, cardiovascular health and hormonal changes can all play a role.

In Chinese medicine, we may explore Kidney Yang and Kidney Yin, along with other patterns, depending on the person's symptoms. We don't assume that a change in erections automatically means Kidney deficiency.

What do we actually do about low libido in clinic?

First, we get curious.

Rather than treating libido as a problem in isolation, we look for the pattern behind the change.

We might explore:

Your energy: Are you exhausted, depleted or struggling to recover?
Your sleep: Are you sleeping well, waking frequently or experiencing night sweats?
Your menstrual cycle: Are there changes in your period, premenstrual symptoms or signs of perimenopause?
Your stress levels: Do you feel constantly switched on, overwhelmed or emotionally stretched?
Your physical health: Have there been changes in erections, lubrication, pain, medication, hormones or general health?
Your emotional wellbeing: Do you feel connected, relaxed and interested in intimacy, or has something changed in your circumstances?

We then tailor treatment to the individual.

Acupuncture may help support relaxation, stress regulation, sleep and some aspects of sexual function.

Chinese herbal medicine may be considered where appropriate, based on the person's presentation and medical history.

Lifestyle support is also important. Adequate sleep, sufficient nutrition, appropriate exercise, time for recovery and addressing ongoing stress can all form part of a broader plan.

Where relevant, we may also recommend some bloodwork to investigate possible contributors such as thyroid dysfunction, iron deficiency, medication effects, hormonal changes, erectile dysfunction or other medical conditions.

The aim isn't to force your libido to be higher. It's to understand what has changed, address contributing factors where possible, and support your health and quality of life.

So, how's your libido?

You don't need to have a high sex drive to be healthy. You don't need to want sex at the same frequency as your partner, and you certainly don't need to meet anyone else's expectations.

But if your libido has changed and you're curious about why, it can be a useful place to start.

In Chinese medicine, we look beyond the symptom to understand the person as a whole. Sometimes the conversation

about libido opens the door to a much bigger picture involving sleep, stress, hormones, energy, emotional wellbeing and the way we're living.

If you've noticed a change in your libido, acupuncture and Chinese medicine may be worth exploring as part of a personalised approach to your health.

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2. Lu, H. J. (2023). Sexual Desire of Women With Fast and Slow Life History Throughout the Ovulatory Cycle.Evolutionary Psychology. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/14747049221148695

3. Mengelkoch, S., et al. (2024). Longitudinal associations between women’s cycle characteristics and sexual motivation using Flo cycle tracking data. Scientific Reports, 14, 10513. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-60599-1

4. Ovulatory cycle shifts in human motivational prioritisation of sex and food (2024). Hormones and Behavior. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38636206/

5. Abdi, F., et al. (2021). Does acupuncture improve sexual dysfunction? A systematic review. Journal of Complementary and Integrative Medicine. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34704431/